"You can have happiness. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but you just have to fight.”
i love being tight with teachers because you get to hear them talk shit about other teachers its so funny they all act like highschoolers except they get paid
She wears short skirts I wear t-shirts and we’re both getting sent home from school because its distracting to boys apparently
okay this one made me laugh
Did anybody notice the sign that reads “Beware pickpockets”?
It is like pure gold <3
Fun fact: pickpockets used to put up signs like that in tourist areas, so that tourists would pat places on themselves where their valuables were kept, to check that they were still there. Then the pickpockets would know exactly where to retrieve them from.
I love learning
Whoever wants to eat cookie dough and not get salmonella. Here ya go!
Every woman? EVERY PERSON ON EARTH, MARS, OR WHEREVER THE HELL YOU ARE SHOULD HAVE THIS RECIPE.
« I don’t want to say life is too short for drama, but I think I’m just too old for drama. I’d rather go home and be with my cat and my dog than start a war with someone. »
I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him
I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”
and he went dead silent
had the opportunity and fucking seized it
*planet explodes* *removes one earbud* what
i was looking for free furniture but maybe thats not what i was meant to find
fun fact: Michael Cera asked Rihanna if he could slap her ass for real and she said “you can slap my ass for real if I can slap you in the face for real” and he was like alright. and they did the take like 3 times and Michael was like “you’re not hitting me hard enough do it for real” and then she slapped the fuck out of him and threw off his equilibrium so much he had to go lay down in his trailer for like half an hour lmao and that’s the take they used in the movie with no added sound effects
his head disappears omg
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